The Popular Kid

It had been 2 and a half weeks since my parents had seen Davy - gasp! That's a lifetime for a Grandma, you know. So I trucked over to Ft. Worth on Monday afternoon to see Mom and Dad. I'm telling you, it's one of my most favorite things to watch all the grandparents love on D.

Not too long after I took this photo, my Dad pulled into the garage and Mom whispered to D., "my competition has arrived!" After dinner we decided to give her a bath and did so in the bathroom in front of a mirror. Davy put on her best Russell Page impersonation face as she checked herself out for the first time.

We were laughing the entire time. Who knew that giving a baby a bath could entertain 3 adults for an evening? What can I say? We're easily pleased.
This morning the Orender women came over for a visit. The only thing missing was Katy. If anyone needs the backstory here - I lived with the Orenders in 2000 when I first went on staff with K-life...and twas a glorious year of Katy and I constantly hanging out with her parents until her dad (Mr. Bill) would throw a few twenties at us and say, "why don't you girls get out of here and go do something fun...and you can take the Porsche!" It's sad when even your parents can tell you don't have a life. Anyway, that was also the year I fell in love with Corgis, namely the Orender corgi named Woofie (God rest his soul). So on the way over this morning, Alicia and Erin told me that Carol kept saying, "we get to see Fatty!" (one of the many reasons I love Carol!)

Carol would also want me to point out here that she was coming over mainly for Davy and did hold her for a long time - I just missed that photo opt. Archer got a little anxious about his mom holding D. for so long...course it might have also been the fact that Fatty kept confusing his face for a lollipop. However, Alicia didn't mind being licked to death.

Does Anyone Else Get the Sunday Blues?

Ever since I was a kid I get sort of down on Sundays. So I'm gonna recap the weekend just to get my mind off of the fact that tomorrow begins the whole cycle again..

On Friday we stopped at Centennial on our way to the Aars' for dinner and I saw this guy waiting for his dad. I rolled the window down and called, "hey buddy!" He didn't move. So I whistled at him. Not a blink. His whole body was trained on the door - and when his owner walked out he nearly shook the car wriggling with delight. This is why I love dogs.








We had great conversation, tasty food and too many walks down memory lane at the Aars'. Michael Page was in town and Noelle, looking completely gorgeous (Noelle, you could totally pull off the new Ellen Barkin 'do) came over as well.

Michael and Alli have the best outdoor courtyard complete with a fire pit, mesquite wood (or was it pinion?), Adirondack chairs and tasty cocktails. If you've never had a "white drink" made by Michael, ask him for it. (But avoid his wine-a-ritas after a pool party.)

By the way, Davy slept in her car seat the entire time. I woke her once to give her a bottle and then it was lights out again. Ahhhh...I almost felt guilty.




The cigars were left over from Davy's birth. (Please note that Alli, Noelle and I did not partake.) I always think cigars and outdoor fires smell heavenly...until I smell my hair the morning after.









Noelle & I.












On Saturday we went over to the Gillhams to watch Tech demolish Kansas State.

We wanted to get a photo of the girls together. Caroline started walking this week so there was quite a bit of each one of us trying to coax her over to us. Putting Davy right next to her made me realize how quickly this year has flown by. I remember when C. was this size and suddenly she's turning one. Crazy.

It's the one thing I hear over and over again from every mother: enjoy this time - it goes way too fast. I have found myself teary-eyed over how quickly Davy's newborn face is changing.






Uncle Russ with Caroline. (Colby, never far from the action, in the corner.) I'm looking forward to seeing how the two girl cousins favor each other!

It was the hands...

This almost made me wet my pants. I don't know if it's because I was so sleep deprived last night but I almost choked while laughing. The one person who I knew would quickly have the whole song memorized? You know who you are...

Thursdays

This morning Fatty wasn't in his usual spot, which is to say he was not laying directly under or on my feet. He has a knack of being exactly where I need to step. I walked through the house and found him lying right near D's swing. This is an improvement from lying directly under the swing, thus hindering it from moving at all. Way to go, Buddy.
All ready for a walk. The burp towel is a recent addiction to her seat. She's been channeling Linda Blair for the past few days. (By the way, Target sells a great 12 pack of thick cloth diapers that are organic if any of you are having the same spit-up issues.)




Every Thursday morning I go for a walk with Malen and her daughter Campbell. For years, pre-babies, we would meet at Starbucks and get an hours worth of deep talking done. Once Campbell was born Malen was still able to get out of the house & meet me at Javalatto by 7am. I am not that industrious so now I make Malen walk with me and the girls...at 10am. Needless to say we still get our talking in, it's just smattered with interruptions of putting the paci back in or picking up the blanket from off the road. You know, the usual.

Thoughts on Devotion

Have you read this? I used to see it everywhere I went: bookstore, grocery stores, gas stations (I made that one up). I think I bought it at Sam's, which tells you how mainstream this book has gotten. I avoided it for a long time until my clients began to ask if I'd read it. I wanted to be able to connect with their experience so I finally picked it up and had it sitting on our dining table for a month.

But now, halfway through it, I've allowed this book to stick in my gullet. I'm frustrated...and in a good way.

Without ruining it for anyone, I was able to get completely on board with the author when it came to her personality, her neuroses, her "issues", if you will. This gal and I have a lot in common: codependency, relationship addiction, unrealistic expectations of ourselves, clinical depression, guilt mongering, crappy thinking...the list goes on. I appreciated the fact that she is very clear about her view of God, recognizing that her universalistic theology (many paths lead to God) skirts her clear of calling herself a Christian. So while I was reading I was able to put her in the "wants to know God but doesn't really know God" box.

And she won't stay there.

I am at the point in the book where she is studying at an Ashram in India and I had expected her to share all about the Hindu gods, and how she was worshiping them, how enlightened she had become...and there's a little of that. But then there's this: she's crying out to GOD, asking Him desperately to fill her. She's spending HOURS meditating, describing focusing her mind on God and all the discomfort, pain, and fulfillment that comes from doing just that. She's describing a devotion to God that I have felt glimpses of in glorious moments and it's actually making me jealous.

Most of us in the bible belt have this little phrase we use called, "having my quiet time." It basically means anything from spending time in prayer, reading the bible, reading a book meant to complement the bible, or perhaps writing in a journal about our thoughts on any of the above. Growing up as a PK, this was also often called, "doing my devotional." At Kanakuk, we called it "devos."

I was thinking about this last night - what is devotion? Today I don't think it's something I have or do...though certainly you can practice devotion to God or you can be devoted to God. But the way that Elizabeth Gilbert describes it, it is something that you yearn for, you long for and are willing to lay all else aside to strive for. And that makes my sorry little "quiet time" look so very lame. That's what's bugging me. I'm prideful to the core and this Universalist, Man-centered theologian is showing me that I'm not devoted to God real much.

I'm reminded of hearing Beth Moore speak on agapeo love at a Passion Conference in 1998. She was referencing John 21: 15-17 where Jesus publicly restores Peter after Peter's betrayal. Jesus is asking Peter, "do you love me?" But he's using the word for love as agapeo- Godly love, love flowing from the Spirit. And Peter can only reply (love his honesty) "I phileo you," or "Jesus, I have fond, friendly, brotherly love for you." Beth was pointing out that Peter knew he didn't have it in him to love Jesus with that great, heavy love of agape' love. She compared herself and the rest of us to Peter and explained that we don't just have that kind of love for God. I believe her exact words were, "Buddy, you couldn't muster it up if you tried."

So that's what I am reminding myself of when it comes to devotion: Beck, you don't have it. You can't do it. And you couldn't muster it up if you tried.

I'm in great need of God to do that...and actually I believe this is one of the vast differences between Jesus-centered theology and universalism: I am powerless to be godly. I need God to love Himself through me.

But wouldn't you know it's taking reading this non-Christian, very spiritual book to remind me of that?

Hi, I'm Becky and I'm an MTvaholic

Two people (Russ would make 3 but I've yet to share about the blog - hold me accountable!) will read this heading and go, "um, YES...you ARE." But my mother and Katy have simply never understood my addiction for truly bad television. They cannot comprehend why on a sunny day I feel the temptation to sit indoors, air conditioning cranked high, and watch The Real World marathons for countless hours. Especially when I've seen every. single. one. about 3 times over. What can I say? Addiction is real, people.

Anyway, I am currently addicted to a horrible show on MTv called "The Island." Truly, I cannot explain just how extremely lowbrow and tawdry this show can be. MTv execs have the perfect recipe for bad tv and it looks something like this: isolate a cast of twenty-something "hotties" who have forgone the life pursuit of a real career and have slid by on their looks since freshman year...have them compete for a fair amount of money that might last them one year of living cheap in L.A. and paying their "agent" to book them for cable tv commercials...make each Challenge require them to wear bathing suits...pour alcohol over the entire sha-bang and VOILA!

I'd watch! (and I do...)

So anyway, having seen each and every one of these kids in other MTv shows, I feel as if I'm watching old friends...if by old I mean old enough to babysit...scratch that - old enough to work at Sonic. Yes, these folks are not known for their moral fiber but alas I do enjoy watching them compete, make out with each other, get loaded, and hurl curse words at the camera.

But there is one...oh good gravy...there is one guy who I really cannot stand. And it is this one guy who fits the bill of "People Who I Love to Hate on Tv." Many people have entered into this category for me (right, Katy?) and they are as follows: Carson Daily, Paris Hilton, Beyonce', (another post entirely) and many more. But this guy is so NOT famous and that's what drives me so insane with my disdain of him.

I present Kenny.

Kenny was never on a Real World or Road Rules show. He was part of a show that MTv tried called, "Fresh Meat" where they brought on new kids to compete with old cast members. He did well, if I recall, being paired with longtime favorite, Coral. However, Kenny now quite ubiquitously appears on these challenges as a self proclaimed badass. I find him almost intolerable. He is blatantly sexist, continuously demeaning the females on the show. He also enjoys openly mocking anyone who does not immediately cowtow to him. Kenny recently compared his domination (also known as losing a challenge) to the Mob. In fact, I believe he used the words, "the Don has spoken..." I'm sure the Mob is grateful for this kid's homage. Please, I beg of them, whack this douchebag.

I apologize to you if you have no idea what I'm talking about. In fact, just save some brain cells and skip this post entirely. Being a new stay at home mom has only served to strengthen my addiction...I really gotta get out more.

We Seem To Be In Reverse

Here you see a telltale tear in the eye of my little one. She has wriggled free from her "burrito" swaddle and the pacifier has fallen into No Man's Land. However, she's mildly content because she is in her swing. Chelsea and Casey loaned us their swing and little did I know it would be such a lifesaver. Every morning after the first feeding, Davy goes into her swing which faces a front window. This gives me plenty of time to eat breakfast, have some coffee and even some quiet moments to read. Sometimes I feel guilty because she won't even wake up for her next feeding. I have a fleeting thought: "I could probably leave her in the swing at night to get her to go the entire night!"

She's two months old on Saturday. We've been using Babywise techniques since the first week and I had high hopes of getting her to sleep through the night by week 5. (Have I mentioned how egotistical I have been as a new mom? No? Probably because it's been painful to have God daily remind me, "Um, Beck, I think your control issues are sneaking in again...") I'd hear of babies who wouldn't go through the night for months and months and pridefully thought, "Not my baby." Certain friends shared that their babies were sleeping through the night by 5 weeks. BIG SIGH. I had one night where she slept for 6.5 hours (at 4 weeks) and I figured we were good to go. However, D. has gone from only waking once around 3am and sleeping until 7am to waking at 2am, then again at 5am. Last night she awoke at 1:30am, 4:15am, and 6am. Argh! Who put this baby into reverse gear? I'm blaming her dad...or the dog.

I gotta stop as this post is looking dangerously like mommy blogging.