Thursday, January 7, 2010

Misdirection

I'm ashamed to have stayed away from here for over a month. I typically stop reading if someone waits so long to post. I've been thinking about deleting this blog, mostly because I don't know what I'm doing here. The list of blogs I read are mostly family and friends, who may or may not post regularly, then friends of friends who post daily, then mommy/design blogs. Confession: When I read mommy/design blogs (ie: the blogs of other mothers who are crafty, take amazing photos and/or do tutorials on their sites like "how to sew a designer diaper bag") I typically come away with a fair amount of self-loathing and insecurity. I'm lucky to snap a blurry photo of Davy eating dog food taken from my iPhone to put here.

I really, really, really wish that I had an ounce of decorating savvy and that I had enough time/money to redecorate a room and publish high quality shots of the entire event. Because these are the types of things I like to read on other blogs. Then I can compare myself and walk away with that satisfying dose of insecurity and self-pity!

What I do for the majority of my day is sit with people and hear incredible stories or terribly sad incidents or share in the beauty of watching God move in the life of someone who had previously had no presence of Hope in their lives. But I cannot talk about that here. It's all very interesting and even exciting but it needs to stay locked in my office where it belongs. It's safe there and not at all safe if I were I to share it! (Those who know me best know I can be lacking in discretion. Hey! Here's my office number!) But seriously, counseling happens to be one thing I have a talent for - oh how I wish I could use this as an avenue to brag about that! (Note: I'm being sarcastic - it is my belief that good counseling has little to do with the counselor herself...it's a Holy Spirit thing.)

Anyway, this leads me back to the understanding that what I do with my day cannot be shared here and cannot be the purpose for this blog. And because I'm not a super-mommy or even a super-photog, I don't think that documenting Davy's life here is the purpose for this blog.

I do love to read. A lot. In fact, it's one of the reasons I haven't said anything here for awhile. I thought about doing more book reviews. (You'd much rather come here than Goodreads or Amazon, right?!)

Several friends have bugged me to write. As in, get published. Ha! Now, I have a plethora of good stories, mostly because I am a magnet for embarrassing moments of the poop variety. But I don't know if I could be a good writer. I might try to share more stories here....we'll see. There are many moments in a day when I think, "I should blog about this!" But they are fleeting and superficial...and maybe that's what this place needs... If you stop by here, would you stop & offer feedback? What would you like to see?

(I have to pause and point out my codependecy here: "Hey guys? This is my blog. What would you like me to do with it?" Ugh. It's exhausting to be this much of a people-pleaser.

10 comments:

Chrys and Mike said...

I would miss you if you didn't blog.

Chrys

Dwelling said...

love reading your posts....insightful, entertaining, real.....and I am thankful that God is using you to come alongside of people as they walk through this life....can't really think of a greater privilege.

I hope you might continue to find this to be a place to share some of who you are and be a venue to say what you want to say.

Courtney

Jess said...

I love reading your posts, so keep it up! If nothing else, then just tell us funny stories that happen to you (poop is fine!) or Davy or even Russ, though I don't know him :)

Whatever you do, don't delete the blog!

J. Page said...

Please keep blogging! I love to read your posts and feel like I get to know you even better each time I read something you write...Just keep sharing what is on your heart. You are such a talented writer! (P.S. I have several friends who follow you from my blog- and they love reading your stuff, so keep it up!) Love ya!

The Dettens said...

Hi, I'm Jessica, and I'm a blog stalker. And I stalk your blog. I'm Johnna's sister (we've met, briefly, at Kristina's wedding). Anyway, I ALWAYS look forward to your posts. So when I finally saw a new post, and read it, I was compelled to comment. (Sorry, Johnna, if you're embarassed!) Anyway, Becky...please don't stop blogging. You have a real talent. Blog about whatever moves you.

Katy said...

Don't stop! I know the frustration of wondering if you have anything to say that's worthy of other people reading it. Who cares! That's what a blog is for. It's free for people to read and if they're not interested they'll scroll down to the next entry.

I think just what you shared today is why we love reading your blog. It's good ol' honest Becky. You're relatable, raw, truthful, funny and I for one am glad to see a blog that doesn't involve "hey, look at me and what I did! I'm so creative and a super mom. I also have a big fat wedding ring and no cellulite. Brad Pitt's mom is my mom's best friend." Ugh, makes Erin want to claw her eyes out. So thank you for being YOU!

JNSW said...

Can I cuss in your blog comments?

About 50% of the time after I write something down on my blog I come away thinking, "Aw, *cussword*, people will read that and think I'm horribly self-indulgent and...well...stupid." And then I force the thought from my mind because really all I want is a written history of our family's path. Some of it is mundane and boring and I also talk about poop. But you can't worry about looking stupid or superficial or anything because if you do then you won't write about anything at all. And that's no good because you're good and funny.

I'd say just write about anything you feel like writing about, no matter how superficial you think it is. 'Cause it's your family and your life, and someday you guys will re-read it and smile at how naive you were way back when. It's good stuff.

Kristie said...

I love your blog! I say write whatever strikes you at the moment. It's your blog, after all. Screw what everyone else thinks (this coming from a fellow codependent people pleaser!). We'll read it because it's you!

However, being a lover of books myself and always on the look-out for new ones to read, I'm all for book reviews. :)

life with the wisners said...

this is the becky that i sometimes don't recognize. the co-dependent people pleaser? what?

and let's talk about your fancy looking blog. maybe it's been this way forever, but OH MY WORD it's awesome and fancy and cool and very "don't mind me, i have a cool looking layout."

seriously? awesome pictures and fabulous crafty posts? who are you? people (me) come to read your blog to read what's on your heart and read about your family and davy and funny stories. i mean, don't get me wrong, us nosies would love to hear about your job details, but i get it. you can't go there. we come here because we love you and love knowing what's going on inside that incredibly intelligent and FREAKING HILARIOUS brain of yours.

got it?

now, go. carry on.

Amanda said...

aw becky...you gotta keep blogging...if only because you have the most perfect blog title EVER. I mean, who is lucky enough to have the last name Page, and then thinks to name their blog "bookmark this page"....too clever. And the part about self loathing...sometimes after I read one of your posts, I feel a hint of jealously for your writing and insight. Love reading your posts, keep it up!