Snow Angel

The snow is beautiful but my poor child looks like a vagrant: Christmas jammies, toggle coat, oversized pastel mittens 'n stocking cap and feaux Uggs that won't stay zipped. Everyone loves a hot mess.

Fashion Slave

I really think the Blankie completes this fashion statement, don't you?

Ginormous Child

See? A Photo! Sister was not a fan of those mittens.

Back From the Grave

I know you've been checking back here repeatedly, dear followers (Mom), and must be curious about my absence. It's nothing exciting. Just a stomach virus. Last Monday night I lived through the one experience that I had been dreading: baby projectile vomiting. I used to see friends posting all the time on Facebook about their child being sick and throwing up all over the place. Each time I read something like that I'd begin furiously praying, "please God no may it never be" over and over.

And yet - it happened. I was putting D to bed after a normal day and a normal bedtime routine. While I was wrapping her blankie around her she softly coughed, spat out her pacifier, and proceeded to go all Exorcist on me. Wow. A wall of chewed tomatoes, corn, string cheese, yogurt, blueberries and milk sprayed across the bed, missing the bed entirely (small thanks) and landing on me and the floor. I was stunned. I was literally frozen while it happened, much like I'd imagine most folks are during extremely traumatic moments.*

Anyway, it happened um, around 11 more times that night so after 5 loads of laundry, 3 sessions of floor mopping, and two more baths, I knew I had been baptized into a more mature level of motherhood. That's the worst that motherhood gets, right? RIGHT? Okay, whew.

On a not so funny side note, both Russ and I got sick as well. Only Russ got sick hardcore, as Russ has been known to do - summer of 2007 anyone?* 8 And now, even though he's better, he's losing weight as if, oh, say he's training for a half marathon. Only he's not. But I am. But I have lost jack diddly and am starting to think about secretly adding mayonnaise to everything I cook for him. Can anyone tell me why this happens with men? I can't figure out how I can run 25 miles a week and still hold onto weight like my body is some toddler clutching her toys to her: MINE!

*Yes, I just compared my child throwing up to the trauma of say, refugees in a war-torn nation or surviving cancer. Don't you want me for your therapist?

**Ugh. I don't even like remembering the summer that Russ had some impossible to diagnose virus that made him run a high temp for 3 months and zapped all strength from him. Everyone avoided us like the plague and I had to mow the yard. THE TRAUMA I'VE ENDURED, PEOPLE!

Love in a Choke Hold

The other day I stopped by Chelsea's to talk and we let the girls run amok while we drank wine talked about important things. I glanced over to see Caroline gingerly putting her hands around Davy's neck and thought, "uh oh - let's see where this leads" only to watch as C placed a very tender kiss upon her cousin's cheek. Caroline is practicing to become the world's best big sister. (Get on the ball, Chels) Anyway, we made her do it about 30 more times so I could score a quick video...

Ode To My Baby Girl, on Her First Year

(Warning: long hormonal post to follow)

Lovey, nigh upon a year ago you went and turned my life upside down...



See that? That's me, suddenly wondering who I am, and terrified that I might get lost in the terror of a newborn baby, something I up and did real quick so that navigation back to my former self would prove impossible. Dear Kathryn Davy, this past year you took me on the ride of my life. And I would do it over...and over...and over again. Because I've never experienced the kind of love that makes you realize the bridge to who you used to be has been burned and you can't go back and you're even GRATEFUL for that loss of your bearings. Onward ho! With no other choice!




Davy, you had only been a part of my life for a month or so when I realized that suddenly my life had become scarier. It wasn't just that your Daddy and I didn't know why you were always crying, though indeed that was terrifying. It wasn't that the whole breastfeeding thing had me flummoxed and teary-eyed in the middle of the night, though I really thought it might be the death of me when I came down with the dreaded mastitis. It was on an ordinary afternoon early on in my maternity leave and you were laying next to me on my bed while I was watching "Hotel Rwanda" for the first time ever. I'd seen many movies like it in the past. But suddenly! My heart was in my throat and I felt the beginnings of a panic attack coming on! Those children! They could be you! Suddenly all the sorrow in the world was my own and my fear was choking me! Little did I know that from that day on, every sad Today Show story, every news article about children trapped in an earthquake or talk of an orphan's home in South Dallas...those children felt like my child. There would never be enough hugs, or tears, to push away the fear that every parent encounters: that they might lose a child. It haunts me to this day - the notion that life has upped the ante, that I have more to lose today than I did a year ago.

But. Aside from the crippling fear came joy beyond measure.



I never understood how people could carry around photos of their children and expect me to care. And yet: a quick study of my iPhone will reveal hundreds of photos of you. Daddy and I would find ourselves calling each other only to discuss the barely perceptible new thing you had accomplished during that day: "Guess what." "What?" "Today she turned her head and was watching TV." "Seriously?!" "Yeah. And she smiled when the dog barked." We continually marvelled over your obvious talents. Someone call the Gifted Program.



Davy, I'm not gonna lie. Becoming a Momma was HARD. Every step stressed me out. Your father can attest to this: I am an anxiety hound and the lack of sleep only made it worse. But, bless your heart, you really were a good baby. By six months you slept through the night (though that damned Babywise had me thinking it would only take 9 weeks!). We learned quickly that as long as you were fed, you were up for whatever. After about 7 months of you and I hanging out I realized that you recognized me and maybe even really liked me being around. By 9 months I was certain that I had never really lived before you.

Your life has given me a whole new way of looking at mine. Let's take Daddy, for instance. Honey, you'd only been born for a few hours before it was painfully clear that I was never intended to marry anyone but your daddy. I remember holding you sometime around midnight on the day of your birth and looking over at your father who was fast asleep on the chair/couch next to me. I just burst into an estrogen cry fest because I suddenly realized something Jesus must have known for a thousand years or so - that Russell Page was always meant to be with me and meant to be your daddy. No one else would do. And Oh! The joy it brings me when I think of the totally different way you will know him as Daddy. Trust me: I know a thing or two about good daddies and you got yourself a good one.




Little girl, your personality is out like Clay Aiken. You are so intensely yourself. Here are some things to remember: everywhere we go, people say, "Oh my gosh! What a beautiful baby!" I used to think this was just something folks said to most babies until total strangers stopped me to ask if they could hold you. You smile at everyone. Hell, you'll babble coyly to anyone, too. "Those blue eyes!" If I had a nickel for every time I heard that. My prayer is that you will somehow escape the pressure that most girls feel by the time junior high rolls around: may you never measure yourself by your looks. It's too fleeting a weight to carry. May you somehow get it through your head that the stuff that lasts is the stuff the years can't change: your love for others, your tender heart. But if you succumb to those demons that your own mother bowed to - may you realize quickly that freedom lies in your Heavenly Father, the One Who loves you regardless of anything you can do for Him. Who knows your worth has nothing to do with performance, behavior or beauty.

Little girl, God brought you into my life to teach me the Great Lesson: how to love without being loved in return. Oh my. I never knew how selfish I was until you came along. For as long as I live I'll never be able to thank you for relieving me of the burden of ME. I just don't matter as much today as I did a year ago. And I know this is of God. Only He could use such a little thing to give me such a great gift. I can say with tears running down my face that you've taught me that this ol' life is full of surprises and pain...and that I would never trade it.



I love you, baby girl.

Love, Momma.

Someone Needs a Dose of Motrin and a Nap

...and that someone is me.



I don't know if it's teething or just general fussiness but my daughter has been acting like a premenstrual 15 year old. You wanna know how to get back at a fussy toddler? When they start crying, show them the video you took of them crying earlier! Hopefully the concept of time collapsing on itself will throw their little brain into sleep mode...

Things I Didn't Sign Up For

This heat (104+degrees) in Dallas is going to be the death of me. Yesterday I got up at 5am and went to the first workout for this season's White Rock Half Marathon class. It was already 82 by the time we started running at 5:30am. I tried to be peppy & encouraging as I led my group on the run but in my head I was thinking, "KILL ME NOW IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL TO SWEAT THIS MUCH AFTER 3 MINUTES OF EASY RUNNING!"

By end of day, I just wanted a good night's rest as our house labored to stay under 79 degrees indoors with the A/C blaring. I took just one lil' Tylenol PM hoping to sleep all night without any disturbances. Other people in our home didn't get this memo. At 3:30am I could faintly make out Davy crying through the haze of my medication-induced coma. Usually I'm fine with letting her cry it out but I also heard a dull thumping - suddenly my body went into Emergency Momma Mode and I flew out of bed fearing that she had gotten out of her crib.

On the way to my bedroom door, stumbling drunkenly in total darkness mind you, I sensed Fatty anxiously bumping against the door frame. Mystery thumping sound identified. I opened the door and he shot out of the bedroom like a bat outta hell. In my stupor I vaguely thought, "uh oh."

I've been weaning Davy for the past few weeks and it's been hard for us both: hard for me because it signifies the end of a sweet time in life. Hard for Davy because Woe to the one who comes between Davy and her food!! Woe, I say! The weeping and gnashing of teeth coming from the crib broke me so I nursed her in the middle of the night. Something I haven't done in many months.

Once she was down I was able to get my brain to tell my body, "left foot, right foot" back to my bedroom. But a nagging image of Fatty flying down the hall, toenails clickety clacking, was haunting me. I slowly made my way to the kitchen, turned on the light and saw what I had feared: Diarrhea Slaughterhouse 2009 all over the tiled floor.

The funny thing is that I barely flinched. It's like after almost of year of being a mom, liquid piles of poop on the floor don't even phase me. I just cleaned it all up, didn't even bother finding Fatty, who I'm sure had taken refuge in some dark hiding place, and shuffled back to my bed.

What a glamorous life I do lead.

Portrait of a Lil' Lady

My mother in-law has a dear friend who is an artist and she came over a few months ago to take some photos of Davy and I because she wanted to do a portrait for us. Last night she brought it over for the big reveal and I'm so pleased. While nothing can truly capture the loveliness of my daughter quite like looking through my own mommy eyes, this painting is such a neat gift. Feel free to go see Karen's website if you're ever interested in commissioning her!

11 Months: First Steps

Davy takes a few of her first steps for Mimi. At one point she took 10 on her own. Anyday now, peeps, and she'll be cruising around here like a tornado! I need life to slow down! You can see her doing a move we affectionately call the "bump and grind". When she's really tired, she buries her face in her blankie and does this move. Hilarious...I've been trying to catch it on video for months.

Future Pronator

Getting a jump start on her running career.

Things I Swear By: Baby Addition, newborns

While searching for nursery ideas for Johnna I was reminded of how tough it was to try to register for my first baby. Walking into Babies R Us and staring up into the great wall of bottles felt like I was visiting another country whose language I didn't speak. So I thought I'd throw my 2 cents into cyberspace to see if anyone cares! This addition of "Things I Swear By" is for babies in infancy.



First of all, we couldn't have gotten Davy home from the hospital without the Kiddopotamus' Snuzzler (see above). I remember convincing Russ to go get it the week before she was born and he was all, "Nah. We won't need it." But when we put Lil' Bit into the car seat there at Baylor Hospital, she looked so tiny and I was so grateful for the Snuzzler. It kept her from flopping all around on that precarious (to me) drive home. We used it for the first 3 months.


The Boppy was also immediately put to use. There are other pillows like Boppy, I'd just suggest getting something to help you breastfeed so that your back isn't killing you from slumping over your little one. *Even if you aren't planning on breastfeeding, the Boppy will save your arms - and Dad's arms as well!

Thank you to the Davidsons for loaning us their Fisher Price Nature's Touch Cradle Swing! Davy is now 20 pounds and she STILL loves to sit in the swing after breakfast. When she was just a smidge of a girl she would take naps in it. (note: most retailers will tell you not to do this - as if you're going to wake up that baby to go put them in the crib!)

See?


(for breastfeeding moms) There is NO way I would have made it through the past 10 months without this pump, the Medela Pump in Style. If you are forced to buy it for yourself, I would suggest that it might possibly be the best investment you'll make. Whether you are going back to work or not, this pump will ensure that even if you need to leave your baby with a sitter at the last minute, you can still pump a bottle's worth of food in just a few minutes. As I've increased my workload, this pump has also allowed me to keep my milk supply up. (Aren't you glad you stopped by here today?)

Oh people, we would be lost today were it not for baby blankets from Gymboree. We received one as a gift (along with MYRIADs of other blankets, all good ones) and something about the softness, the stretchiness, not to mention the adorableness of this blanket just made it so easy to swaddle Davy. We immediately began calling it "The Blanket." As in, "wait, where's The Blanket? These others don't work." I've since purchased several more. I think at least 3 are in her crib with her now. Anyone who has held Davy knows that if she's crying, just give her The Blanket and she'll hold it up to her face lovingly and calm right down.

I'm purposely not mentioning diapers or bottles here. We are Pampers and Medela bottle people but I promise every baby seems different in these areas - or, to be fair, every mommy has her own preferences! I'd welcome input from you on what you couldn't live without when your baby was an infant! I only had time for so many! More to come for older babies soon...

Some Nights are Just Good Nights...

It was yellow tonight in Dallas as we labored under a tornado warning. If by laboring I mean: watched two good movies over two bottles of wine with my husband.

Simple pleasures: we found out that Davy loves grape popsicles. We sat on the front porch and watched the sky go from yellow to orange to gold. Then we quoted Robert Frost's "Nothing Gold Can Stay." Russ said, "Stay golden, Ponyboy." Which just made me love him more.

Sometimes you just gotta rejoice in the little things, you know?

Lil' Video for Mommas

Mother's Day from Dexter Evans on Vimeo.

I hope it's okay that I'm putting this on here. My friend Alli helped create this video for her church's Mother's Day celebration and I think she did a pretty amazing job (she & Dexter)! You will see Miss Davy along with Andrea's Ella & Will. Also, the scene with multiple generations? Those are my friends, The Gaspards.

Enjoy!

And So It Begins...

From this..


To this...


Last night at church I got a phone call to come to the nursery: "Umm, Momma...can you come down and feed Miss Davy for us?"

You can always tell when your child has been "challenging" to the nursery workers if when you show up she is in the stroller getting pushed around. That means that she's been so fussy that they chauffeured her away from the other children in an attempts to quiet her down.

Upon arrival, I saw Davy sitting in a double stroller with another distraught baby boy. Davy began grinning ear to ear the moment she saw me. But the nursery lady wasn't smiling. She told me, with no small amount of awe in her voice, that Davy had torn the crying boy's bottle out of his little paws not once, or twice, but three times and shoved it into her gaping maw. I suppressed a belly laugh upon hearing this but Davy began kicking her feet and smiling at me as I said, "Uh oh. We don't take other people's food!" Pretty sure that fell on deaf ears.

I've noticed that she gets anxious about nursing now. She begins hollering and pawing at me the minute I get her from her crib. When I am bringing her baby food, she kicks and reaches for the spoon like "must. have. that." So I'm not really surprised about her shenanigans in the nursery. I mean, HELLO? I think I know where she gets this from...

ACK! People, while I was writing this Davy ate off the corner of a baby shower invitation that was sitting next to my laptop!! There isn't a trace of it in her mouth!!!

My mom noted that the story reminded her of Chris Farley in this skit.

Good Friday

My favorite passage on Jesus is from Isaiah 53. And my favorite verses from that passage are 5 and 6:
⁵ But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

⁶ We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

I'm so grateful that the story doesn't end on Friday!

She has nothing to do with this post. I was just trying to take a pretty photo outdoors. Her look is all thirteen years old: "Mo-THER. This is so lame."

Hiatus

So...I took a little break...sort of unintended. I have been feeling somewhat worn down after a week of poor sleep. But after going to bed at 9:30pm for two nights in a row, here I am!

Little recap:


Ricky was in town for a portion of Spring Break. He got to see Miss Chunk in all of her chubby glory. (We were low on laundry that day. I promise I don't usually dress her in the free tee from Baylor hospital and just a diaper...I'm a little bit white trash, but not full blown.) We're all going to see Ricky graduate from the University of Arkansas (Go Hogs!) in May.


We drove to San Angelo two weekends ago to visit Sutton & Johnna. This one photo captures the entire visit: it was all about being laid back, comfy and simply enjoying them. Davy was great - she slept, she barely cried, and she got plenty of attention. We ate lots of heavenly food (not Dr. Brown approved) and paid the price for it. But my favorite part was having plenty of time to simply sit and talk. That's one of our favorite things to do with them. I loved that I caught a shot of Johnna with a camera since she is our family historian, a talented scrapbooker, writer, and creative mind as you can see here.


Remember how Davy got a new jumper? One day while I was working on my Spring cleaning she was being awfully vigilant in her jumping skills. I noticed she enjoyed spinning round and round in the bouncer. I stepped out on the front porch to sweep and got caught for no more than 3 minutes talking to a neighbor. When I came back in a quick look let me know that D was still happy and content. A second look piqued my curiosity: what WAS that stuff?

Prunes. From an hour before. It appears the spinning worked it's magic on that little tummy. Here's my question: how do you puke that much and not even lose your pacifier? "W'sup, Mom?"

For anyone still reading, we had to re-do our family room this weekend. What worked pre-baby was no longer working. Also? We felt terribly cramped in our charming 1600 sq. ft. 1930s home. This table used to sit against the back wall displaying what was probably too many family photos.


Here is the room mid-move. I ran to get my camera and Russ goes,
"What are you DOING?"
"I need it for the blog!" (He doesn't understand that everyone enjoys a good before and after!)

Our couch used to float mid room with a walkway behind it and that table up against the back wall. Why? I don't really know. It worked for the first 2 years. But then the pack n play was jammed somewhere between the floating couch and the fireplace. The whole room began feeling claustrophobic. But here are some after pics.


The photo table has been removed and the couch pushed back against the wall. That chair used to be in front of one of the corner windows.


The table that once showcased an over-display of photos got downsized (I love that table - it can serve as a dining table or a card table!) and is now in the corner where the other chair used to be. The pack n play is still a major fixture but, hey! that's life for a little while. (Let's be honest - it's only going to get worse, right?)

P.S. Russ will read this and call "bull$*t" on me if I don't confess that one of the main reasons I haven't updated my blog is because the only time I've been online lately is to play Mafia on Facebook. I am filled with shame to right this. but if you want to play will you let me know so that I can add you to my Mafia?

Isn't She Lovely?

So Davy cut her first tooth this past week. And then she promptly returned to her usual temperament of smiles and gurgling. Except...

Sometimes Davy gets a little worked up when I enter the room - it usually has to do with her being hungry. Today I came home from the grocery store to find D and Russ sitting in the sofa chair, snuggled together, watching a movie. Before she caught wind of me, she was contentedly sucking on a pacifier and close to falling asleep. However, once she saw me she sat up! She started fussing loudly and staring pointedly at my chest. She then worked herself into a wail. It's like she has this crazy crush on me and life can be all good until I walk into the room. Then she just loses her cool and begins crying and grabbing for me.

This must be what the Jonas Brothers feel like.

Six Months!

Sweet Davy girl,
You turned 6 months old yesterday and it feels like I blinked and half a year just zoomed by! It was hard to believe that six months ago I was in labor with you, completely oblivious to how much my life was about to change.

So many people told me I would be in love with you from the very moment I saw you. I can honestly say that the first feeling I had for you was awe...and then...fear. I loved you, for sure, but more than anything I was a little scared of you.

Since you were just a day old, the first comment that most people make about you is that you look like your Daddy. Man, that kills me! I love your Daddy and personally think he's hot, something that you'll most likely never want to hear again from me - but you're my little girl and I really want you to look like me, too! This photo of you, however, proves that we'll never need a DNA test for you - you are definitely your father's daughter.

You were such a little thing six months ago. I had to work hard to give you those thunder thighs you're hauling around now. Even since your early days you've been a really, really good little baby. You took to a schedule right away, even though it took awhile for us to get the whole feeding thing down. You have such a sweet countenance and easy going manner. For your first 3 months it was mostly just you and me, day in and day out. I was probably a little obsessive at first about taking you anywhere - so you and i just BONDED.

Your dad and I have bonded too over these six months. We never knew we had it in us to be your parents. I'm thankful that God knew we did. I have to say that your dad has really surprised me. I always knew he'd be a good Daddy but I had No. Idea. that he would be so great at all that goes into it! His favorite thing is to race me to your room when it's time to wake you up. He likes to be the one that picks you up and gets to see your face the moment you open your eyes. That's something I'll always love about him.

We have a whole new respect and joy for family now. I love that you will know your grandparents and your cousins (even the ones yet to be born) and that they will play such a big role in your life! You are so blessed to be born into this family - every single person in our big ol' extended family loves you so much and is someone that I want you to get to know. We are relying on all of them to help us raise you.

For me, you've already taught me so much about myself. Your Dad always says that getting married makes a man grow up and that having a baby makes a woman grow up. I do feel like I've grown more since you've come into my life than ever before. Having you makes me feel confident about myself, helps me to think less about myself. God is using you to take away some of my insecurities, partly because they pale in comparison to the joy of being responsible for you. Now, He's also shown me again just how fearful and controlling I can be. I promise to work on this before you become a teenager!

We took you to Ft. Worth this weekend and I loved all your new changes: eating baby food (hating the peas and loving the applesauce), laughing with us, and generally just being a very happy baby.

My greatest prayer for you in the next six months is only that I would be grateful for each day spent with you. I don't always understand how God works and why He does the things He does...but I know He is good. I want to be able to live in a way that teaches this to you.

I love you, little baby girl.

Getting the Thousand Words Painted

Being the kind of mom that I am, I was pretty close to having my monthly guilt trip about not having gotten any professional photos taken of Miss Pretty Pretty Princess. She's so stinkin' cute now and it seems like everyday brings new accomplishments: sleeping on her tummy, able to sit on her own, laughing...

A few weeks ago I searched out my old Kanakuk friend, Janet, who has begun her own photography business. Little did I know that she would show up and work some magic while I basically just had a typical morning with Davy. I had no idea what to expect, I just knew that I wanted a very natural setting and I wanted to capture my little girl's simple beauty.

HELLO!
go here
click on "site"
click "client images"

That's my girl! And there's so many more where that came from. The best part was that Janet and I sat down, had coffee, caught up on all kinds of life and generally had ourselves a great morning. She made the whole experience such a peaceful, enjoyable time. I highly recommend her!