Remember Me?

I've been bad about blogging and this week probably won't be any better with the holiday. JUST SO YOU KNOW, ahem, my birthday falls on Thanksgiving this year so while you're gobbling down some turkey and yams, you can give me a SHOUT OUT...or just raise a little toast to me while you're tossing down the wine that will enable you to spend an extra hour with your extended family. (Mom, please don't drunk dial me, okay?)


BIG shout out to this lady who delivered the bundle of joy named Cohen Matthew on Thursday night. Look at that face. That is Chris Carreker right there, kids. Lins, it helps that y'all look alike but I have a feeling we are in the same boat with our children looking like little imprints of our husbands!

I feel like Cohen was surely prayed into existence after all that Lins and Chris have been through over the past year and a half. We have waited a long time to meet you, sweet boy. (See a much calmer, quieter Cohen on his mommy's blog)

We will be in Midland on Thursday, Ft. Worth on Friday, then back to Dallas on Saturday and possibly Frisco on Sunday. Everyone be careful on the roads and enjoy the $1.30 gas decrease from last year at this time! And to all my peeps running the Turkey Trot, I will miss you!

Viva la Vida Bueno con mi Esposo Bueno!

About a month ago Russ came home in a dither. He had something up his sleeve.

"I've been thinking about your birthday..."
"What about it?"
"I wanna give you your present now."
"But you don't even know what I want yet!" (This is classic me. I'm a pain in the ass to shop for.)
"Oh, I'm pretty sure you'll like this." (My brain: he bought me a car?)

Not a car, but 4 tickets to Coldplay in the Premier Club section of the American Airlines Center, complete with parking passes. AND, he told me he wanted me to take 3 girlfriends and he would stay home and babysit. Ohmigosh. The Viva La Vida tour was something I thought I wouldn't see due to the fact that decent seats started at $150. Russ had found amazing seats through his company.

And Russ is a good man, y'all. Last night as I was getting ready (a tough task considering my uniform of yoga pants and old sorority tees has been my wardrobe staple), I said, "babe, I'm excited to hang out with the girls but I'm gonna miss you being there." He replied, "I know you well enough: you'd worry the whole time about me and whether I was having fun or not. You'll be way more relaxed with the girls."

He knows me almost as well as he knows the lines to every eighties movie with the plot line: underdog boy finds the passion/talent/supernatural werewolf powers to overcome the rich kid/karate challenger/basketball hero and get both the girl of his dreams AND his sidekick-cum-soulmate-girl-who-exuded-lesbian-vibes.

We went to Strong's Tavern for dinner and drinks before heading over to the AAC. ("We" being Wendy, Emily, and Emily.)
"When are they gonna play Strawberry Swing?!" (Emily Loerke, who will love me for this photo...did I mention she brought dinner for Russ just to thank him, too?)One of two cameras that Emily McKeaigg used to take photos with. Needless to say, hers will be better than my iPhone pics.
My favorite part of the night was when the entire band walked off stage, through the AAC, to the back of the venue and up into the stands where they sang an acoustic version of "The Scientist." They just wanted to give everyone in the back seats a little treat. Very humble and generous of them! It was a fun night, though to be totally honest I found myself thinking at 9:10pm, "if they don't come on soon, I'm gonna be asleep." Also, Wendy and I screamed to each other above the din of the noise, "really wish I had earplugs!" Yep, we're old.

Thanks for the early b-day, Rusty!

You Know You're Codependent When...

...You find yourself wondering if your dog is upset with you.

Fatty has been limping on his right leg since Sunday. We think it's because he played so hard outdoors with a new toy. When he lays down for awhile, his hip gets sore so he limps when he's standing back up. I'm sure he's not feeling quite up to par.

However, I keep thinking, "is he mad at me for not taking him on the walk yesterday? Did I do something that hurt his feelings?"

Note to self: call your therapist.

My Worst Fear

Rachael blogged about her horrifying experience with her little Sock Monkey Man: he fell 4 feet off his changing table onto their hardwoods. We have the same set-up at our house and I often visualize something like this happening in my head. Think I better start using those restraints that come on the changing pads!

Somewhere my mother is thinking, "if you think that's scary, wait till she's 16!"

The Landlady who revoked my lease

I knew I spoke too soon!

New Lease on Life

I hesitate to even write about this...there is a big potential for jinxing my newfound luck. Davy turned 14 weeks old on Saturday and began sleeping through the night last week. The reason I'm a little scared to even share this is because it seems like any time I report some big changes on her part, she reverts backwards a few weeks! (Right, Chels?)

When I was pregnant I had friend after friend suggest that I use the Babywise method of breastfeeding to help ensure that my baby would begin to sleep through the night relatively early. Anyone who knows me knows that I tend to have the personality of one of these when I'm not getting much sleep so I was very interested in sleep training my little one. Thank goodness Johnna had given me the book already because I began to read it with gusto. Babywise asserts that if you are following the precepts closely, your baby will most likely begin sleeping through the night between weeks 7 and 9.

Hmmmm, not so much.

Week 7 came and went as did weeks 9, 10, 11, 12 and so on. And any mother knows that the one emotion that seems to plague you when your baby isn't behaving as you wish is GUILT. It's crazy but I felt guilty (and scared) that Davy was still waking up to feed in the middle of the night. (Not to mention tired, frustrated, cranky, etc.) I was calling my baby-guru, Rachael, all the time.

I have learned something about myself with this sweet little girl: I still struggle with legalism - I want to be able to "check all the boxes" with my baby and use that checklist to ensure that she will behave perfectly. Um, Beck? She's a baby. She's not a formula to be solved. Also? I still really struggle with fear and shame: fear that I'll never get real sleep or that I'll do something that scars her for life or that I'm a bad mother, etc, etc. Shame over not being able to control this new mommy life. Hey God! I thought we had already dealt with all of this!

Anyway, I write all of this to say two things: one, you can try all you want to control your kid but they do their own things. And two, since it's not really in my control, I can't take the credit for good stuff happening. I think her sleeping more has more to do with her weight, her body getting enough calories and maybe a guardian angel who secretly sings her back to sleep in the night.

But Davy, on those nights when you do sleep all the way through, I'll actually really, really miss my time with you... love, Momma

Stuck in my Tweens

I've fallen off the blogging wagon lately - sorry about that. It's due in part to a new obsession: The "Twilight" series books. Russ came home a month ago and said he had heard people buzzing about these vampire books, going so far as to say that they were the NEW Harry Potter. Well, that perked my ears up. Then I noticed that I didn't hear from Katy for an entire weekend. This is unusual because even though my phone skills have completely deteriorated, she usually calls once or twice a weekend to check in on me. The culprit? The Twilight books.

That sealed the deal. The monotony of being the mother to an infant can be maddening and I've used reading as a means to escape some of the boredom, especially when the weather is dreary. When I asked Katy if "Twilight" would be like Harry Potter she replied hesitantly, "Ummmm, not really."

"Will Russ like it?"
"Ummmm, maybe you should read it first and see."
"Is it magical? Will I feel similar to how I feel when I read the HP books?"
"Becky...I'll be honest...it's kind of a beach read. It's a romance book for teenagers."

Ohhhh, this explains why Katy was so out of pocket. (Nevertheless I was at the bookstore in about 30 minutes flat.) Twenty pages in I was chuckling out loud to Russ, "this is so me and Katy...teenage sexual tension."

My husband lovingly went to Target yesterday and surprised me with books 2 and 3 after I voraciously devoured book one on Sunday. I'm halfway through "New Moon" (see my new bookshelf to the right). I've had to make little deals with myself:
1. No Twilight reading until you've done your bible study.
2. No reading over the baby while nursing. You tend to not notice if she slides to the floor.
3. No reading those books till you're out of your pajamas. You are a cliche' waiting to happen.

Other than that, bring on the clouds and rain because I'll be curled up on the couch reading away! If your own life has been brought to a halt by these books, I'd love to hear from you! We can start a support group.

The Song of the Snuffleluffagus

Davy had her first cold this week. She also added "wooing" to her baby repartoire. You can tell here that her nose is all stuffy and yet she's singing like a hoot owl. The furrowed brow is something I think she inherited from her daddy.

Sidenote: the noise in the background is the sound machine in the nursery that is permanently set to "light rain." Also, Fatty interrupts near the end as a very alarming intruder, Lindsay, arrived.

And here we go...

Russ and I tried hard to avoid the polling results last night. In my heart, I've known since last year that Obama would win. I've been emotionally ready. Ironically, Davy is now sick for the first time in her short life. She cried all night. So around 3:45am when I found myself crying in the rocker, begging God for sleep for us both, I felt myself worried about the next four years.

But I'd like to choose peace for today. I'm really worn out on all the speculation, fear mongering (though certainly some of it is warranted), and lines in the sand. I realize I don't want to be associated with any political party. There's too much of a "box" there. My King is still on His throne and there will come a day when all the nations will acknowledge that He alone has authority and power.

So today I'm grateful:
1. that the election season is over.
2. that we have elected our first black President. This is huge and watching the coverage of so many black Americans weeping has really touched my heart.
3. that with a Democratic senate and President, the country's griping and moaning will be re-directed for the next four years.
4. that I live in a nation where I can be a part of electing our leadership.
5. that no matter what happened yesterday, today I am called to love all people, speak truth at all times, and use my life as a means to draw them nearer to the heart of God.

Sidenote: I watched a special on the life of Bill Clinton yesterday and was reminded how the liberal voices of the USA felt that he was being attacked on all sides, hunted down, etc. during the investigation of Kenneth Starr. The idea was that his private life didn't effect his political life - yeah, right. I think many Republicans have felt this way for a few years - under constant attack and scrutiny. Has there ever been a man in office who did not screw up in some major way? Let's just pray for President-elect Obama's heart to be open to truth and guidance...for his sake, his family's sake, and our nation's sake.

"We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. … Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other." (John Adams)

"This is what the LORD says—
Israel's King and Redeemer, the LORD Almighty:
I am the first and I am the last;
apart from me there is no God.

7 Who then is like me? Let him proclaim it.
Let him declare and lay out before me
what has happened since I established my ancient people,
and what is yet to come—
yes, let him foretell what will come.

8 Do not tremble, do not be afraid.
Did I not proclaim this and foretell it long ago?
You are my witnesses. Is there any God besides me?
No, there is no other Rock; I know not one." (Is. 44: 1-8, NIV)

So, happy Nov. 5th! Cheer up! Let's just wait and see what happens!

Nov. 4th

Today is important and special to me and it has nothing to do with the election.

Three years ago today I was ignoring the cues from my boss who was trying to convince me to leave work early. I had also called my mom the night before to complain that my boyfriend was acting really weird, really anxious. When Russ called me at work to see if I wanted to get off work early and go for a walk, I was pretty casual. "Sure, whatever." When he came to pick me up, I said, "Babe, there's a really good Oprah on today. It's all about how to do your make-up professionally...do you care if I stay home for awhile and watch?"

Bless his heart. Yes, he did in fact care. I then convinced him that I needed to drop my car off at the shop for some repairs. I think Russ had it taken care of in 15 minutes flat. Man, he was really looking forward to that walk.

It was the beginning of November and the leaves were falling slowly, much like they are today. We were walking around one of our favorite spots in Dallas: Kessler Park. I noticed how edgy Russ seemed. When we came to a place in a park where there was a waterfall gurgling, he told me he needed to pee. He then took off behind a tree. Whatever, dude. I was feeling pretty calm, wondering what we'd be up to that evening, watching the leaves fall and listening to the gurgle of the nearby creek.

And then Russ walks up to me and proposes. (Note: he would want me to clarify that he had to get the ring out of his pocket and his best excuse at the time was, "I need to pee.")

I won't go into the details of that conversation because it involves a lot of explanation, a lot of history on our parts. But I will say that I was COMPLETELY taken off guard. So much so that when Russ presented the ring, I truly thought he was joking. I pulled an Elaine (on Seinfeld) and shoved him. But then I noticed tears in his eyes and I took another look at that ring (he told me later he was terrified when I pushed him that the ring was about to go sailing into the creek).

I won't share my exact wording here (as it was a little on the colorful side) but trust me, I said yes. Looking back, what I love most about how Russ proposed was that he totally had me thrown off - I didn't have an inkling that the proposal was coming. Those of you who know me well know that I am a raging control freak. This was the most beautiful part of getting engaged: I was completely out of control of the event.

Three years later and I am more grateful than I ever thought I could be for one person. Russell is the perfect match for me. He is gracious with me when I am childish and mean. He will pick my brain about a topic and makes me feel intelligent and cherished. He loves on my family and friends and truly enjoys getting to know people and making them feel at home in our house. He races me to Davy's room to wake her so that he can relish those moments where she is still sleeping peacefully. He is a gentleman. (Can't say enough about that one.) He's a hard worker and a kind leader. Russ, your birthday is coming up so perhaps I shouldn't exhaust the list of great things about you - as if I could anyway!


And I love that Katy got to see the ring before I did.

Photo Recap

Last week, the day before my maternity leave ended, I came down with a bad case of mastitis. If you don't know what that is, may you never. Thankfully, my momma came over to help out with a very cranky Davy. If you see my mom, ask her about her dream about D. calling her by "name." I love this photo.


Halloween at the grandparents. While I only saw a handful of trick or treaters in my neighborhood, a mere 3 miles away in HP I think we saw several hundred. Amazing. We never made it off the front porch. But Caroline did don her costume at the end of the night for a photo op.
Somebody refused to stand up with his costume on so he was left at home that night. Sir, you will wear this costume next year and you will wear it with a smile, by God! I didn't pay $6 at Joanne's fabrics for nothing!
Only a handful will get this photo. It's morning time with Beth Moore. As a few of us have joked in the past, "I accepted Beth Moore into my heart." In all seriousness, I'm doing the Breaking Free bible study again and this morning's lesson was especially good. I forced myself to get outside, away from my laptop, phone and television. I have been really spiritually dry and this morning was exactly what I needed to hear from God...