Mother Flippin'

Every once in awhile I regret that Russ and I don't have HBO. Meh. We watch enough tv as it is. But the new season of Flight of The Conchords has arrived and I'm reminded that I once memorized this entire rap just because it reminded me so much of something Jonah & Trace might have written in high school.

Hilar

So for Christmas my mom got me The Best American Non-Required Reading which is a collection of works of fiction & nonfiction. One section lists the Best American Facebook Groups and some of my favorites are as follows:

I Thought You Were Hot Until I Clicked on "View More Pictures"

Disney Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations About Love

I Like Texting in Awkward Situations (oh, amen)

If You're OCD and You Know It Wash Your Hands!

I Love How We're Friends on Facebook, but We Don't Actually Talk in Person

I Wasn't Aware That Sexy Ever Left

...and my favorite...

Eighth Graders Need to Back Off Ninth-Grade Guys Especially Other People's BFs

The Wrong Side of the Bed

I think I have started at least 6 different posts this week, all to no avail. This is due in part to the fact that every time I sit down to write, Davy either started fussing or I was simply too brain dead to get my thoughts down. Davy has been sick all week with a bad cold and I've gone from having a cute, chubby baby to one of those snot nosed kids that you hold at arms length for fear of them smearing you with their germ warfare.

I think I'll just barf all my random thoughts out now:

We had an ice storm in North Texas and I can never get over how the news stations go buckwild over the school closings and traffic situations. They will override all the major news shows and even the soap operas that don't come on until later in the morning because OH DEAR GOD THE STREETS ARE SLIPPERY and IT'S ALMOST CLOSE TO FREEZING WE'RE AT 34 DEGREES NOW! The newscasters whip the whole city into a frenzy. It's truly hilarious if you have any understanding of how the northern states work during freezes...which is to say, like clockwork.

So...I kind of feel like I'm back in the 2nd grade and Jessica Wakefield is having a slumber party and everyone's totally excited and did I hear that her mom is gonna let them watch "Gremlins"? but...I didn't get invited. Every time I turn on the news the Obama fever is palpable, the whole world seems to feel as if the greatest party ever is about to be thrown. I get jazzed, too! It's wonderful, all this change. Except for certain things.
I'm looking forward to some changes the President is making but I am very, very leary of the celebrity status that he is gaining. I do not blame this entirely on him. But I think we should all watch our government very closely, praising the good and actively fighting the bad. And Obama's moves on abortion are gonna get really bad. If you care about this like I do, we need to stay alert.

On a lighter note, last night while I was watching Family Guy, I laughed myself to tears when they spoofed Rocky Dennis, God rest his soul. I love the movie "Mask" and once when Katy and I were in the check out line at Target, we saw a People magazine that had a story about Rocky Dennis, except there were no photos of the real Rocky Dennis. Only Eric Stolz' character. When I complained, "maaaaaaan, I wanted to see a real picture of Rocky," Katy gave me a sympathetic smile. "I know you did," she said softly. She knows my deep desire to see pictures of things that are disturbing. Since I can't find that Family Guy clip online, I'll post another politically incorrect clip instead:


Forgive me, Rocky & Helen Keller.

Almost as bad as Mom jeans...

Rachael, who some of you know has been my breastfeeding guru for the past 5 months, finally updated her blog to share about the severity of her "Mom bob" and the cash it took to fix. I snarfed coffee all over my keyboard. Rach, I love your humor & honesty! I promise to soon post something embarrassing but true about me!

Here's hopin' for one of those bath pics in the future!

I think Texas might be the only state enjoying 80 degree weather today (minus Hawaii) and we had to get ourselves out in it. To be fair, I typically hate living where you find 80 degree weather in January - I much more prefer to actually HAVE seasons. But it was downright lovely today so we went to Lakeside park to meet up with Cohen Carreker. Big C had just gotten his first shots and needed some female attention to distract him. By the way, little boy's hands are bigger than girlfriend's. Lindsay's got herself a total BOY!

Mine Fuhrer, the Twelth Man

Well, this just made my day. (Thanks, Kent!)

ps: please forgive me Johnna!

Would Jesus Drink Decaf?

Todd showed this clip last night at church. I've been thinking about it a lot because it pretty much sums up my time in prayer. I've been missing out. I tend to talk about 50 times more than I listen.

Also, I'm a glory hog. I want to write this down for you all because as I was reading another blog I was so convicted about my struggle with wanting approval and praise from others. It was ironic to see it on someone else's blog after a weekend of battling these thoughts.

Kismet?

A baby who typically is never fussy suddenly cries inconsolably and in pain for over an hour leading her mother to take her to the doctor around 1:45pm. This baby has never been to the doctor for anything but a check-up in her 5 months of life. The doctor finds nothing wrong with said baby and mother and child are free to go.

En route home, around 3pm, this same mother and child are sideswiped by a teenage girl who also begins to cry inconsolably. The teenager's car is marred only by scuff marks and a lost license plate on the front end. The fussy baby fusses even more due to the absence of pacifier and, thankfully, not to any physical trauma. Her mother's car, however, suffers greater peril.

That same car has been paid off...for two weeks.

Whattya gonna do? That car is Your car, Lord.

The Road to Fame...

...is evidently paved with Tootsie Rolls.

Couldn't be prouder, Katy.
Bad smells & kitty cats - I know you were suffering for your craft.

Music for the Moment

Last year over the Fourth of July we sat atop the Carreker lake house watching the fireworks and playing a game called "what outfit, what food, and what song for the moment". This is game that I think I invented. I say I think because surely other people have these thoughts! It goes something like this: If you were in Edinburgh, Scotland at a little pub near the High Street, what outfit would you be wearing, what food would you be eating and what song would be playing?

OUTFIT:



FOOD:



(haggis & Guinness)

SONG:

The Smiths' "There Is a Light That Never Goes Out" (covered by Joseph Arthur)

I was thinking that every once in awhile I'd ask you guys about what kind of music you'd listen to in certain moments. I think it's the easiest of the questions for those of us who adore music. So here's my question:

Let's say it's a blustery post-New Year's evening. You are home with a fire in the fireplace in your favorite spot in the house, enjoying a glass/mug of wine/coffee/favorite tea/insert your relaxing drink here and pondering life. What song are you listening to?

Please de-lurk in the comments below.

Coming Up For Air

I had an experience yesterday afternoon that made me want to write a little more in depth about my thoughts of late. As I was leaving work yesterday the sun was shining, people were jogging along the Katy Trail, and I had a flash of...dare I say it...simple happiness. Between the hours of 8 and noon I had gone grocery shopping, caught up with a coworker, sat in on a weekly meeting that I hadn't been to in 6 months, had an encouraging session with a client and had left the office feeling productive and like an active member of society. It felt like the clouds were parting.

For the past 5 months I have been laboring under what I could best describe as a cloud of fear. I am a very social person; an extrovert who is energized by relationships. I'm one of those people who, if it's possible, might have too many friends. It's a wonderful problem to have. But having Davy in August caused me to not just slow down but to completely halt my social life. I didn't really talk to people who weren't in my immediate family (unless I was calling Rachael with a breastfeeding question!). Folks would email or call...and I would just let it go. I was overwhelmed. I was sleep-deprived. I didn't know how to be me with such a lack of energy...or clean hair for that matter.

Like everyone else in this economic climate, I need to work. And it's a blessing to have work right now. But I was so fearful. I was straight scared about how to do this now dual role of mommy & therapist. I knew how to be a therapist...just not how to juggle it with what my life had become from August to December. Some good things came out of me living in a hole for 5 months: I've learned that I can't meet 50 people for coffee in a week. I've learned that nights at home with my baby and my husband make for a great night. I've learned that 7 hours of sleep is better than being able to afford a manicure. I've learned that Davy is a priority. If it's not good for her, it's just not good.

I also learned that I needed to get out of my fear and take the kid to a restaurant. If she cries, she cries. But it's worth it to have a real meal out in the real world. I gotta get back out there. I also learned that I can pour into the core people in my life and that they would sustain me. Aside from our families, Russ and I have been blessed with a handful of people with whom we share the whole kit & kaboodle of life. They know about our faults, our fights, our finances, even our sex lives. They are, for some reason, willing to walk through the mess and joy of this journey with us. Thanks, you.

So if you called or emailed in the past 5 months and thought, which part of the earth did Beck fall off of?, here's the explanation. But I'm doing good today. I sure hope I don't jinx it by talking about it but I feel really good.

The Bible describes God as "the lifter of my head" and that's exactly how I feel about Him right now. He has reached down and lifted my head and I am so grateful.

The Road Goes Ever On and On...

I changed my blog layout. If you don't get it then I question our friendship. I mean, do you even know me at all?

Over the Christmas holiday I spent an evening with Russ, my mom, a good family friend and a bottle of red zin playing this. Did I mention there are 1200 questions?

My dog is named Fatty Lumpkin. Comment if you know the origin of that name (not you, Mom or Katy).

Certain parts of my house are decorated with Bag End in mind. I blame it mostly on Russ.

Russ and I toyed with buying ourselves pipes for a season. We satisfy the desire by asking, "they come in Pints?" whenever drinking a beer. That's how we roll.

Don't mock my layout. Just embrace me for the complete dork that I am.

As Promised...

5 Months

We met Russell's dad for lunch at R&D today along with the Davidsons. Couple of pics of Davy, Caroline & Paul. I feel like a champ because nursing in the bathroom didn't stress me out at all. I am...Superboobs!

p.s: pretty sure I have an all female readership but I apologize to any guys who might have stumbled across that reference.

At this stage in the game, I'd be in the beer closet.

this made me giggle.

Stuff Rattling Around Up There

This just sort of stopped me cold the other night.


For a long time I had avoided reading an email in my inbox. It was from my church. My pastor had spent several Sundays talking about the Democratic Republic of Congo. I had skipped church. "10 new emails." Hmmm, not that one...I'll read it later.

I read it the other night. And now I feel like there is a thorn in my brain. I can't stop thinking about these women...about these children, these families. Please watch that video. It will probably upset you. I think it should.

I sent the link to quite a few folks the other night. One person responded. But her one response was like tossing a lit match into a tinderbox. She was UPSET. And it was all I needed to be pushed forward to do something. So I commit to do something.

More to come...

Mmm Mmm Good!

So some of you (Aunt Diane) have noticed the lack of Davy photos for the past few weeks. She is just Jim Dandy, however. She's babbling up a storm (I'll post a video soon) and has become a very happy, fun little baby. I love walking into her room when she's woken up and seeing her beam at me from her crib.

We started rice cereal and though she can't keep much of it down, it's fun watching her open her mouth with the vigor and excitement of a sorority pledge downing a shot.

p.s: Yes, it's a blue Bumbo seat and a blue bib. Trust me, sister ain't hurting for pink in her life.

Saddened for the Travolta Family

As I pulled Davy into bed with me this morning to watch the first few minutes of the Today show, I was heartbroken to see the news that John Travolta's son Jett died this weekend after suffering a fall during a seizure.

I know there's a lot of hub-bub surrounding the issue of whether or not Jett displayed signs of Autism, and know, sadly, that Scientologists regard this disorder as psychosomatic -they believe that all mental illness must be treated by spiritual healing as the individual is considered "debased." There are reports that the Travoltas refused to seek help for their son. I find this so sad. I think one of the most frustrating tenets of Scientology is the legalism of it mixed with the notion that a person can reach god-like status and "heal themselves." And as a mental health professional, it's heart-breaking to see folks suffer under the shame and isolation of a treatable condition.

But all of my feelings about that false religion aside, as a parent I feel so much sorrow for the family. I'm praying that God will be close to them, wooing them through tragedy and revealing Himself to them in the obscurity of this dark night.

Quit Haunting My Life, Tilda Swinton!

I saw two movies over the past two nights that have all but cancelled out the joy that indwelt me after seeing good, ol' Benjy Button (in which Tilda Swinton appears). "Burn After Reading" and "Wanted" were brought home by Russ on New Year's Eve. To be fair, I had asked for the first and felt that he had earned the second by braving Blockbuster on a holiday.

I am such a fan of John Malkovich (Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich!) and was sure that his appearance in a Coen brother's film would prove splendid. Indeed it did not. It had none of the appeal that "The Big Lebowski", "Raising Arizona", or "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou" contained. For such a stunning cast, the characters proved flat and cruel. Except where Tilda Swinton was concerned and that is namely because she plays flat and cruel so perfectly.

"Wanted": I knew it would be terrible when Michael Paul told us it was ridiculous. (He enjoys most B movies.) Dear Angelina Jolie, I believe you channelled Lara Croft, Mrs. Smith, and that chick from "Gone In Sixty Seconds" quite nicely. Surely the producers of your movies have a simple gag reel in which they play all your one-liners over and over again. Well played, madam.

So tonight after enduring Angie's bland performance, not to mention the last line from "Wanted" which made me squeeze my buttcheeks together in disdain, Russ somehow finds "Constantine" on tv (I think he's watched it oh, um 11 times) and there is freakin' Tilda Swinton again!