Friday, January 2, 2009

Quit Haunting My Life, Tilda Swinton!

I saw two movies over the past two nights that have all but cancelled out the joy that indwelt me after seeing good, ol' Benjy Button (in which Tilda Swinton appears). "Burn After Reading" and "Wanted" were brought home by Russ on New Year's Eve. To be fair, I had asked for the first and felt that he had earned the second by braving Blockbuster on a holiday.

I am such a fan of John Malkovich (Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich!) and was sure that his appearance in a Coen brother's film would prove splendid. Indeed it did not. It had none of the appeal that "The Big Lebowski", "Raising Arizona", or "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou" contained. For such a stunning cast, the characters proved flat and cruel. Except where Tilda Swinton was concerned and that is namely because she plays flat and cruel so perfectly.

"Wanted": I knew it would be terrible when Michael Paul told us it was ridiculous. (He enjoys most B movies.) Dear Angelina Jolie, I believe you channelled Lara Croft, Mrs. Smith, and that chick from "Gone In Sixty Seconds" quite nicely. Surely the producers of your movies have a simple gag reel in which they play all your one-liners over and over again. Well played, madam.

So tonight after enduring Angie's bland performance, not to mention the last line from "Wanted" which made me squeeze my buttcheeks together in disdain, Russ somehow finds "Constantine" on tv (I think he's watched it oh, um 11 times) and there is freakin' Tilda Swinton again!


lindsay said...

mm hmm she freaks my freak. don't like her one bit.